Monday, April 17, 2006

.... "A day without laughter is a day wasted." Charlie Chaplin



Well, guys..it just seemed like lately my posts have been kinda serious.. life's been pretty serious lately...I'm just glad I don't have any Janis Ian Cds around the house or anything by Sylvia Plath..

Don't you like this flower...I do..
And now..a little levity...got any one liners..lay em on me....

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

I saw a fish all by itself, I said, "Dude, you should stay in school." Mitch Hedburg..(only my favorite comedien...)

I bought a doughnut from a store and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I'll just give you money, then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home, in the file... under D... for doughnut" Mitch Hedburg..

I wish you love, peace, and most of all...lots of laughter........

27 comment(s):

good thing we didn't step in it.

By Blogger Clint, at 8:51 PM  

oh to laugh....

By Blogger happytheman, at 10:17 PM  

My favorite Mitch Hedberg line was...

"In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smackie the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system; I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought, "Man, here comes that frog...I'd better play dead." You never say, "Here comes that frog" in a terrified manner. It's always optimistic, like, "Hey, here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar.. with a stick and a leaf.. to recreate what he's used to. And I'd certainly have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16-ounce world."

Feel better, dangit!

By Blogger Scott, at 11:26 PM  

clint..hahahhahahhahhaha

happy...yep, to laugh

scott..that's one of my favorite's too..that you like Mitch Hedburg, just seals the deal..we are just meant to be friends..

By Blogger Beverly, at 3:50 AM  

Beverly - thanks for starting my day with a laugh. That's one thing I love so much about you. You love to laugh and you make me laugh along! Good choice today my friend - to LAUGH! (btw, I was Charlie Chaplin once and I have pictures to prove it!)

By Blogger Candy, at 4:46 AM  

More from Hedburg:

"Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something"

"When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.' "

By Blogger Candy, at 4:52 AM  

Candy..hahahahha...i love it!!

By Blogger Beverly, at 5:09 AM  

I love jokes and funny one-liners! Most of mine come from movies, though. I'm not familiar with Mitch Hedberg. My favorite one-liners, here lately, have come from Napolean Dynamite.

By Blogger Jeans, at 8:33 AM  

Ok, excuse my ignorance, but who is the this Mitch Hedberg guy everyone keeps quoting??? (I probably sound like a REAL idiot now).

Bev, I love the one liners! Here's another:

A man walks into a bar and passes out.

HA!

By Blogger rambouillet, at 1:11 PM  

Mitch Hedberg is a recently deceased comic who had a relatively short-lived comic career. He was famous for a rather dead-panned one-liner delivery, though he always looked completely stoned through his act.

He's kinda like Steven Wright for Generation Y

By Blogger Scott, at 1:47 PM  

I guess you had to be there ...

By Blogger Deb, at 3:35 PM  

oh my goodness, Ram..I have loved Mitch Hedburg since the first time I heard him on Comedy Central. Of course, live albums are peppered with lots of "F" words, but he is hilarious. I grieved when I found out he died. Someone told me he died mixing cocaine and heroin..its a pity..he was hilarious..
The thing is seriously, his words are funny but the way he talks and says them are what makes them even more hilarious...

By Blogger Beverly, at 3:55 PM  

Scott...if you are reading this blog...thank you...what you wrote was real..thank you...you know..fearless and leader don't really have to go hand in hand..
haha..I cheated and commented anyway..love ya, bro..

By Blogger Beverly, at 4:36 PM  

Thanks, stalker.

Guess it's clear now that I stalk you too ;-)

By Blogger Scott, at 4:41 PM  

I'm sorry, Scott, I set a trap..

By Blogger Beverly, at 5:02 PM  

Candy, we are so clever aren't we!

By Blogger Beverly, at 5:33 PM  

scott, to bad you can't turn off all comments on all blogs. o well.

By Blogger Clint, at 8:22 PM  

Why am *I* the topic of discussion at Beverly's blog??? Can't we all pay attention to the heroin-induced hillarity of Hedberg and leave my butt outta all this?

*he said secretly happy that people care enough to write such nice things, but too derned emotionally dishonest to actually admit such a thing*

GEEZ!!!

By Blogger Scott, at 12:46 AM  

:)

By Blogger Beverly, at 1:23 AM  

beverly - we are rather clever. i love that about us.

By Blogger Candy, at 4:38 AM  

fw..oh yeah..gotta include Carlin..I love his "stuff" routine..

By Blogger Beverly, at 9:31 AM  

Why is it the first sign you see going into an airport is TERMINAL?

Never buy groceries on pot: Canned corn I'll take 10 of these, Canned peaches I'll take 10 of these, Canned Cans I'll take 10 of these....

Should we start a blog called: Comments on Scott!

By Blogger happytheman, at 11:54 AM  

oh those were Carlin's

By Blogger happytheman, at 11:54 AM  

I saw George Carlin at a midnight show in Las Vegas once. HYSTERICAL! I almost fell off my chair laughing - and I was worried about how I would stay awake. ha!

By Blogger Candy, at 3:05 PM  

happy...ha ha ha..yes, we have that scott outsmarted on the comment thing..i think he's on to us..

candy..you saw george carlin..oh my word..

lbc..thank you so much..i love that guy..i think i want to listen to him every morning to get going..and welcome..:)

By Blogger Beverly, at 6:50 PM  

thanks for the explanation scott...i didn't know who mitch was either...duh....i like steven wright, and LOVE george carlin. do you know how intelligent you have to be to come up with the things he says?

By Blogger A Heart of Worship, at 6:31 PM  

heart of worship..hey, welcome!!

By Blogger Beverly, at 5:50 PM  

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