23 comment(s):

I was thinking the EXACT SAME THING!!! Oh dear - freaks of a feather ;-)

By  Scott, at 11:23 AM  

I heard the other day that "fine" is a four letter f-word for Christians. In fact, weren't you there when I heard that??

By  Candy, at 1:21 PM  

I always wonder why we can't come up with a different phrase for polite chit chat, one that we could respond to honestly. Like "good day" or something. When I have tried to respond honestly - say when I'm not fine, it makes people mighty uncomfortable.

I was in a store yesterday and heard a sales clerk as a man how he was, and he said, "fine thanks". She was on such auto-pilot that she said, "I'm fine, thanks" right back to him when he didn't even ask.

By  reJoyce, at 2:34 PM  

Sometimes truth ... sometimes a lie. Seems like we could be more original.

Ava

By  Ava, at 2:37 PM  

Beverly,
I know this was ask two days ago, but I just read it. You asked me what grade I taught. Over the 34 years I taught 1st through High School, but mostly Special Education in Elementary school. I was a resource teacher for children with learning disabilities.

By  Vonnie, at 2:43 PM  

I generally say "I'm alright," and I'm not sure why I say that....

By  Lucas, at 4:08 PM  

I make it a point to never ask "how are you?" Cuz I know I'll not get an honest answer. It's such a waste of breath.

By  Shawna, at 5:27 PM  

scott...frogs don't have feathers..do they?

candy...f-word..yeah, it was those methodists

joyce..that't funny about the clerk..we are a weird breed, we humans..some weirder than others like that guy..well it rhymes with flint..

ava...no kidding!

vonnie..you were special ed...aww i love ya for that...

clint....no, your a freak..


Blondie..well..hmm..something to think about..its just so automatic..

plankton....so,what do you say?

sage..lingering for a moment..that's a good idea..

By  Beverly, at 6:27 PM  

Super Freaks if you ask me.

Maybe to borrow a line from Nicholson or actually the writer: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH".

When a friend of mine says that I throw a subliminal message at him and he gives he his full attention and tells the truht.

By  happytheman, at 9:16 PM  

Happy..wow we should all have a friend like that..very cool!

By  Beverly, at 10:08 PM  

Not lies, so much as a bad habit of people who do not practise being genuine with others. Also, people do not have or make the time to be genuine, show their concern, etc.

Many of those who are not from the South of Southwest USA also are taken aback by this 'Hi, how are you doing?' because really, it can 1) Either seem too nosy; 2) When they start telling the perky person who asked them this question, in like 30 seconds, perky person's eyes start to wander away to other people, other objects, etc. Do they truly care?

The 'fine' answer can also be just another way of fining the person who asked, 'Hi, how are you doing?' for wanting to know too much info (the nosy query). I think the whole thing is a bit phoney. People where I'm from HATE perky (especially with a flash of teeth)!

Instead, be creative and come up with more active and genuine (truthful) greetings. You decide:
1) So-and-so, you look great today! (Response time minimal.)
2) So-and-so, you look like you drop-rolled out of bed this morning. What's up with that? (Response time up to 5 minutes.)
3) So, tell me, really, how were things at the crematorium service today? Weren't you just gutted when they fired things up and the curtains came down for good? (Response time: put the kettle on and give up 45-minutes to one hour of your time.)

Got any others?
:)

By  Deb, at 2:06 AM  

deb..very clever and very true..love you girl and may i say, Deb, you look great today! :)

By  Beverly, at 4:58 AM  

I like Deb's answer!

By  Candy, at 5:02 AM  

So to repeat myself: The last things you want to do is tell me the truth, right?

By  happytheman, at 8:19 AM  

Happy..yeah well..do people really want to hear it..like you quoted..man, have you ever went out on a limb and laid it all out there and the person is looking like a deer in headlights..oh man, backstroke..bigtime!

By  Beverly, at 8:26 AM  

HAHAHA, I read sage's answer and just had a vision of me getting really agressive with someone and standing there nose to nose, giving them an intense glare and saying sternly "No really.....how are you.....really"

and then they would slowly back away and feel behind them for the doorknob.

By  Lucas, at 8:39 AM  

Thanks, darlin' Bev ... I had to change clothes twice today!

;)

By  Deb, at 9:27 AM  

lies or just conversation? i think we all know the difference but you know, sometimes the asker really doesn't want to know, right? just being polite. doesn't make it right, but alas, the way it is.

By  Frustrated Writer, at 3:58 PM  

Exactly FW!

By  Beverly, at 4:28 PM  

blondie..hilarious!!

By  Beverly, at 7:11 PM  

Now hold on; these aren't "lies" or people being "disingenious"; linguistically, this is called "phatic language" (Scott, can I get a witness?). Phatic language is the discourse we use at a "second level" to build social relationships between others in our society. All cultures use it. It's not meant to be literal. Other examples include the discourse of haggling, where what is said at face value is not supposed to be taken that way.

By  Cole, at 6:17 AM  

oh, well Cole that is interesting..but what if you have already built a social relationship with that person..it seems the next level is just too much for some...

By  Beverly, at 8:57 AM  

aaww..she's just teasing you Sage we know what you meant!!

By  Beverly, at 3:08 PM  

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