12 comment(s):

don't we all, but the good news is that you are thinking and praying about them now.

By  Candy, at 4:35 AM  

That's a good question. I don't know what all has occurred in your life, but I'm glad you are thinking and praying about this.

By  Jeans, at 7:42 AM  

Sometimes I think forgiveness is similiar to love in that you get up everyday and choose to do it. Maybe it never works as past tense? I don't know...

I am in the process of trying to figure out how to link my favorite blogs from my own--may I link yours?

By  Laurie, at 7:45 AM  

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

There are two actions in forgiving. We forgive and God forgives. We forgive with our head and God heals our heart. When we forgive we must let go with our heart so God can fill it with his love. When our heart has been crushed it is hard to let go and be vulnerable. We know we are to forgive but we protect our heart so it will not get destroyed again. That is why it is impossible to be pleasing to God without faith. We must let God reign in our hearts. He is the one who sits on the throne of our hearts. That’s why I rise up and bow down, place my crown at his wounded feet.

By  Clint, at 7:53 AM  

Sometimes, for those of us personality types who like to please other people and feel energised by positive feedback, forgiveness becomes a longer and more arduous process to work through. Even if we have convinced ourselves that we have forgiven that other person (whether we like them or not!), on the back burner of our minds sits, at a mildly imperceptible boil, this condition of affirmation that we inadvertently heap upon them. In other words, can I forgive this person so totally that I can walk away and move on in my life without their acknowledgement or appreciation that I have, in my heart of hearts, committed the magnanimous act of forgiving them? DON’T THEY GET IT???

One of the more painful realisations for the forgiver lies in discovering there are actually people who have not a clue as to the depths of their transgression(s). This is the bit where, I think, Jesus is making the concession: ‘… for they know not what they do.’

We are not responsible for their reaction after our heart has committed the forgiveness. We ARE responsible for forgetting and moving beyond, taking the higher ground, so to speak. When we turn our focus towards the bigger picture of what matters in God’s sight, rather than allowing the history with that person to drag us backwards. In God’s time – be it 10 or 20 years for us – it will be easier to get on with that person, they will not have be a burr under our saddle. This is what in faith we must claim, bind our wound(s) from the transgression(s), and move on. The freedom our spirit gains becomes the ultimate healing we receive.

(And forgive me for preaching!)

Love ya ...

By  Deb, at 9:08 AM  

Only a disciple consumed by love for Christ would have written this post. Thanks!

I'd like to add (to some great comments) that forgiveness is not a one-moment transaction - it's a process that one goes through. Depending on the relationship and the offense, forgiveness is a process that often takes lifetime.

The Spirit is always guiding us to new depths or experiences in forgiveness - even for the same person - upping the ante as we move through His transformation.

You'll always be forgiving - the Spirit will always be offering you the next challenge to forgive your father, and it will be different from the earlier challenges.

The end result? You will have been transformed to the image of Christ (you'll be dead, but you'll have been transformed).

By  Scott, at 9:44 AM  

Candy and Jeans..yes I am glad I am thinking and praying about this now..more than you know..

Laurie...of course you can link me..I think God chooses to forgive and I follow suit..

Clint.....Being Vulnerable + Trusting = Fear?

Deb...yep..forgiving is not saying "that's okay what you did." Its saying I will extend the grace that God is extending to me. When I do that, with my heart, it doesn't matter whether they understand how they have hurt you. (I am writing these words but do not presuppose that I have felt these words deeply..that is what I am praying about)
You can preach as much as you want here, sweetie..feel free

By  Beverly, at 9:48 AM  

Scott..okay...I think I am ready for the next challenge..
thanks for your words..

By  Beverly, at 9:51 AM  

RE: Feeling the words deeply ...

This is part of the process where we exchange our wrlstwatch with God's timepiece of mystery. We're in his lap at this point, and you are so brave and honest for admitting this. I hope my prayers can provide a loving cover while you're there, Bev. Blessings!

By  Deb, at 10:32 AM  

Chad has some big-time dad issues, too. He shared them at Kadesh a couple of years ago and it was amazing how many young people in our group responded with their own dad issues. Absent dads -- whether absent physically or emotionally -- is one of our gravest social ills, I believe.

What I discovered as we suffered through the grief Chad's dad was putting us through was that we seem to think we have forgiveness all figured out until we have something BIG to forgive. I remember thinking that when we forgive someone, we say, "That's OK." Well, what he did will never be OK. I really had to re-think forgiveness and figure out what it really means. Still working on it.

By  Deana Nall, at 11:18 AM  

beverly, I was afraid you would say that:)

By  Clint, at 11:42 AM  

Clint..really?

Deana...Whitney was a part of your group that year. She thought it was so powerful and she told me she shared some too. Thank you to you and Chad for giving of yourselves like that..

By  Beverly, at 5:11 PM  

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