Monday, March 31, 2008

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Isaiah 45:8

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
From "Gratitude" by Nichole Nordeman

I have a few flowers. I have just really been excited that I have kept them alive these last few months. As my surgery approached and post surgery I didn't do so great keeping up with them. I panicked when I saw how pathetic they looked and watered them. When they only seemed to droop lower it just bummed me out. I looked outside, a couple of days after this great rainstorm blew through town and God just rained down on everything, and I noticed that my flowers were looking beautiful. I was amazed as I sat outside and thought about how there's just nothing like God raining down on you. This is my favorite time of year when the new leaves are bright green and the grass is changing from brown to green. Its a time of rebirth, of new beginnings and its quite hopeful.

Thank you God for the rain.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

And she says beautiful Jesus make me look like you *

I was standing at the doorway of my classroom when a line of students walked by. They were all girded up in their bus safety harnesses and headed for home. One little girl stopped, as I was waving to them, and said to me, "You look like Jesus." I leaned down to look in her precious little eyes and told her, "I'm working on it." Today a little boy stood poised at the water fountain watching me walk down the hall. He is 4 or 5 with a long braid of hair down his back and has been my friend ever since I heard that a substitute told him he looked like a girl.So Alfonzo is my friend now and stood there beaming, lifting up his necklace to show was a fish with Jesus' name engraved on it. I got so excited and was able to tell my friend Alfonzo about how much I love this man Jesus. This moment in time made me realize that I am in fact, exactly where I need to be and maybe a bit less important ,exactly where I want to be. Thank you to the little precious hearts who walk the halls of a school, in the middle of a neighborhood, where some would fear to tread. Thank you for keeping me on track. I am not there, but I seek to look like my savior.

*From "Beautiful Jesus" by
Sara Beth Geoghegan

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I just really like this song...Everglow by Mae

I hope you are all having a wonderful evening...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks. ~William Shakespeare

And through all our tribulations
We reach out for each other*

I have never met Melanie except through her words and comments on this blog and our new found friendship via email. I had knee surgery on Monday and was so surprised to get a bouquet of snacks for every taste from my friend Melanie. So Melanie, this is a shout out of thanks to you for such a sweet deed. You are amazing and precious.

and Kate, your hamburgers were the best I ever had...I love you and cherish your friendship.

*From "Ain't That The Way" by Carole King

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

don't give up 'cos you have friends*

It was Calendar Time in my classroom. We were all gathered together watching the Calendar helpers navigate us through what month and what day it was. I held in my hand a bundle of numbered day cards to be placed in the little plastic pocket of our Calendar chart. These numbered days were out of order and I told my students that we must find the number 5 in this stack of cards. It seemed like an exhausting venture and I communicated my feelings to my students. We began the search and after a few cards a chant, started by Mya, quietly took shape on that carpet floor. As I flipped the cards my little sweet students cheered me on with a loud chant, "Don't give up" Although I knew I had laid on my suffering a little thick, I was pleased and empowered by these little voices. A scream echoed down our school's hall when I finally came upon the number 5. We all cheered and Mya said, "Let's applaud for Ms. Mann, guys!" I sat there not being able to wipe the smile off my face feeling a bit over appreciated for such a small task but to my friends, my little friends, it didn't matter. At that moment I knew that my room was a treasure box filled with precious jewels, some a little rough around the edges but precious.

*From "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Now the distance leads me farther on, though the reasons I once had are gone*

The man behind the counter, at the Muffler place, was entering my information in his computer..he asked, "Do you have a spousal unit?" "No, I don't" I stammered out, then someone hit the pause button and we both looked at each feelings,a bit embarrassed, but his face showed compassion....push play..."Well, do you have an address?",he continued...I smiled, "Now that, I do have."

There are moments where reality hits you and those moments can happen in the most unexpected places. Going to a new Doctor entails the filling out of the forms...pages and pages. ...questions you can't answer and some you can....its the first time I have checked the Divorced box and it caused some emotions to surface; some which I thought I had been able to file away. I have heard talk about grieving as a time period where you can be somewhere, not expecting it, then boom, you are slammed in the face with the remembrance of loss. I will never get use to checking that box because never did I believe I would have to.

I must say that I wouldn't take anything for what I have learned on this path though at times it seemed relentless...I am making it to the other side. Thanks to all who have hung in with me and showed me what true washing of feet can be..

*From "Farther On" by Jackson Browne