Sunday, December 31, 2006

• "It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." mother teresa

There is so much more I want to be...
If I have hurt you this year I pray that you will forgive me...
If I have been insensitive to your needs this year I pray you forgive me..
If I have spoken words that hurt I pray you will forgive me...
I want to be filled with Him..with His love.. so that I may not miss this once again...

Friday, December 29, 2006

Here's the day you hoped would never come* exciting to anticipate and then the time comes and goes and you have to say goodbye to the subject of your anticipation...and that leaves you feeling a bit empty...

Just missing my good friend..just not enough time..

*From "Speeding Cars" by Imogen Heap

And I thank you*

Claude-Joseph Vernet (French, 1714–1789)
Mountain Landscape with Approaching Storm, 1775

Just got back from Dallas. I met a friend there who not only put me up in a nice hotel but bought my meals, paid my way into the art museum and gassed my car up. I was so touched by it all.Somehow this friend knew exactly what I needed...

Road the trolley to the Dallas Museum of Art where I sat on a bench and stared at my favorite painting. Approaching Storm is so beautiful you can almost hear the thunder rumbling.

So here's to a great friend who took care of me for a day and 1/2...thank you!

*From "I Thank You" by Bonnie Raitt

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I'll be back again when I land on my feet*

I didn't lose 10....I lost 6!

Have an amazing day, guys!!

*From "Back On My Feet" by Elvis Costello

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Keep on growing, gotta keep on growing.*

So..I went to my combat class this morning. There were four people there including me. The teachers have been telling us that alot of people will be in class after new years because of their new years resolutions. She said its crowded for a few weeks then it dwindles down.
Hmm..What will my new years resolutions be? I mean, I've been going to exercise class and I haven't lost 10 pounds this last week but I have lost 5. I'm feeling pretty strong in that way. Oh yeah, I just thought of one. Katie told me she would teach me to knit. I think that will be one. Yes, I will learn how to knit. I think I want to write more letters. Email has robbed us of the experience of sitting down and writing letters. I love getting letters. So, I will write letters. Well, that's two so I'll keep thinking...

How do you feel about new years resolutions and if you're into it, what are yours?

*From "Keep On Growing" by Sheryl Crow

Monday, December 25, 2006

Yes now is the time - to love*

Had a bit of a lonely time filling the stockings last night but woke up this morning to find that my daughter had filled mine...
I was making cinnamon rolls and she said, "Mom, let's open our stockings." I came into the living room and she handed me mine filled. I sat down and had a good cry in her arms.
I am truly blessed today and these are the moments I will ponder..
I had told a few that I was expecting a Christmas miracle for my kids but had no idea I would be the recipient.

Feeling loved,

*From "A Time To Love" by Stevie Wonder

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The stockings were hung...

Just hung three stockings over the fireplace..kinda bummed out...

To all the troops and their families and those who have lost loved ones in this insane war...Merry Christmas...We are all thinking and praying for you

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
JIMMY CARTER, Nobel Lecture, Dec. 10, 2002

Friday, December 22, 2006

You, doing that thing you do*

Could my life get any crazier..?....ummm...yes!

So, I look down and see my dog getting um..."romantic" with my cat. Now, is that normal..I mean is this a problem?...will I soon have little Cogs or Dats running around? So, I yell to Jett (my dog) "Hey, Jett, stop that. We don't roll that way here!" He stopped but I can't help but feel different about him. Is that wrong? I just guess I need to accept that the world is changing....

*From "That Thing You Do" by The Wonders

I stole this from Val's blog..

Thursday, December 21, 2006

A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature...Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine me taught by tragedy
Release is peace
I heard a little girl
And what she said
Was something beautiful
To give... your love No matter what ......*
*From "My Friends"....Red Hot Chili Peppers

ummm...guys...I'm a bit emotional today...I'm thinking of this year and this blog and these people who are attached to it and how much you have all meant to me. Its been really rough but its helped so much to come to this blog sometimes in the middle of the night to write what was on my heart and to read your encouraging comments and then to read your posts. You have all, each one of you, meant so much to me this year.
Would you stick with me through this next year?...I sure would appreciate it..

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Let's get it started in here...*

so...i want to lose ten pounds by next wednesday...think I can do it?...I'll let you know!!!

*From "Let's Get It Started" by Black Eyed Peas

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

While he lay in the hay shower him with love love love*

Its storytime and I explain to my students that many believe that Christmastime is the time of year when Jesus was born. I hold up the book I am going to read to them. We begin talking about the picture on the front. The front of the book shows baby Jesus, in the hay, surrounded by the animals. We like to predict what a story is about by looking at the picture on the cover. I ask the children, "Why do you think baby Jesus is in this stable surrounded by these animals?" Many have good ideas and I can't help but smile.

"Because Jesus likes cows!"

"Jesus likes horses!"

"He is from a farm!"

"Jesus likes cows and is going to the library."

As the story unfolds their eyes light up. I look out and Sabrina looks at me and points to heaven. She can't wipe the smile off her face...and neither can I.

*From "Christmas Song" by Dave Matthews

Saturday, December 16, 2006

new addition to my favorite movie list..Little Miss Sunshine...Loved it!!!

: Grandpa, am I pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
Olive: You're just saying that.
Grandpa: No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality.

Just went over to watch this with Whitney, Laura Beth and Corey...oh my goodness...A MUST SEE!!! I laughed and cried my heart out...

" Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ...I'll try again tomorrow."

Darkness, darkness, hide my yearning, For the things I cannot see*

yahoo tells me 10 more shopping days till christmas...

is it wrong to look forward to december 26th?...

one oclock in the morning on the phone with a daughter who feels so jilted by her father..

some nights are darker than others...

*From "Darkness, Darkness" by Robert Plant

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Where are you going?....Dave Matthews...awesome...and Mr. Deeds, a precious movie!!

If only everyone was like Mr. Deeds...

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

This one's for Gracie...

Monday, December 11, 2006

Cause He is the truth*

One of my favorite scenes in The Passion of the Christ

Pontius Pilate: What is truth?

Pontius Pilate: What is truth, Claudia? Do you hear it,recognize it when it is spoken?

Claudia Procles: Yes, I do. Don't you?

Pontius Pilate: How? Can you tell me?

Claudia Procles: If you will not hear the truth, no one can tell you.

*From "The Truth" by India Arie

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Don't Ask Me
Ok Go
(Ok Go)

Quit acting so friendly.
Don't nod don't laugh all nicely.
Don't think you'll up-end me.
Don't sigh, don't sip your iced-tea.
And don't say, "It's been a while..."
And don't flash that stupid smile.

Don't ask me how I've been.

Don't think I've forgotten,
you never liked that necklace.
So cordial, so rotten...
Kiss, kiss, let's meet for breakfast.
Don't show up so on-time
and don't act like you're so kind

Don't ask me how I've been.

Don't sit there and play just
so frank, so straight, so candid,
so thoughtful, so gracious,
so sound, so even-handed.
Don't be so d*&^ benign
and don't waste my *&^%(*& time.

Don't ask me how I've been.

JUST ACT.......

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Thanks, friend, you know who you are...

" When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice,solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, notcuring, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." ------ Henri Nouwen ----

Friday, December 08, 2006

"And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse."

(King John, Act IV, Scene II; [Pembroke] )

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Heaven bend to take my hand I've nowhere left to turn..*

This day was hard. I sometimes grow tired of providing others with the smile they seem to want me to have. Today the smile faded a bit and I felt the pain a little more. Reality sometimes hits me like I've run into a brick wall. A fog hung over my heart today.

A woman came up to me in church on Sunday and asked me how I was..I mean she went out of her way like she didn't have to do it. I feel others are walking by me looking at me not knowing what to say or are just intimidated by the struggles in my life and maybe feel its just too big. But this woman talked to me. I didn't go to her..she came to me and hugged me. I was so touched. She didn't even know all of what had been going on and she touched me.

Also, Cole...I was standing at the back of the church looking for a place to sit and you got out of your seat and came to me and hugged me...that brother, was precious and I will always cherish that act...thanks.

Anyways...don't wait to go over to someone...especially after an intimate time of worship. Believe me they will cherish it. I will be looking for that opportunity to reach out to someone not just in worship, but everywhere in my life.

*From "Fallen" by Sarah McLaghlan

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

What can make me feel this way? My girl*

*From "My Girl" by The Temptations

Monday, December 04, 2006

i am happy....

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Read this today and was fits!!!

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoc of belief, it was the epoc of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of
darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had
nothing before us,we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the
period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received,
for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Tale of Two Mr. Charles Dickens

And so it is christmas*

I'm standing in Target looking for a cheap artificial tree and I find a 6 footer for $16.99. I have never had an artificial tree but somehow this year it makes sense. Filled with emotion, but my sanity kept in check by a good friend on my phone telling me its going to be a great christmas, I found the tree I needed. You know who you are and I will never forget you sticking with me as I shopped for my new christmas tree.
I was telling Blondie today about our family Christmas party last night. I stood and watched all that was going on around me. There were two college guys in my kitchen stirring queso and putting my dishes in the dishwasher. Whitney, Sam and others in the living room playing a game. We all took pics which I'll post later of all of us in front of our new tree! We kept cracking up because the tree is so small that its behind us but you can't see it. As I watched all this I thought about this living room a few weeks ago littered by evil and now filled with love, christmas music, wonderful people and yes, a beautiful tree and my
It was good to fill that living room with some good vibes.

"Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about? " Charlie Brown

Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please.

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown.

*From "Happy Christmas" by John Lennon

Friday, December 01, 2006

a question....

so...if there are two children suffering and say one person prays for one of them does that mean that God will heal the one the person prayed for and He leaves the other one suffering?...does God wait on me to call on Him to help this child or does He decide on His own..? Some have alluded to the fact that my home was protected because of prayer and that is why Sam and I weren't hurt..just got me to thinking..does it mean that if there's a single mom out there who isn't so lucky to have others praying for her that she and her son would be hurt..this I ponder lately..what do you think?